Earrings #2

Daley: Are those your ear decorations?

Earrings

Lou: What is that in your ear?

Me: An earring...

Lou: It looks like someone shot you

Toothless

Catie, during lunch: Miss M, could I please have some grapes for my lunch? All my mom packed for me is a whole apple and I have no teeth!!!

Scientist

Maxwell: I'm a scientist, you know.
Me: Oh, really?
Maxwell: Yes. I'm, well, 1/2 a scientist.
Me: What's the other 1/2?
Maxwell: I haven't quite figured that part out yet.

Hmm...

AJ: Where does your mom live?

Me: Three hours away

AJ: Where do you live?

Me: Ten minutes away

AJ: So you don't live with your mom?

Me: No

AJ: Or your dad?

Me: Nope

AJ: So you live alone?

Me: Yes

AJ: So, when are you going to get a baby?

Funny

Me: Adam, you are funny!

Adam: Why?

Me: I don't know, that's how you were made.

Adam: I am NOT made of funny!!!!

Bon Appetit!

Adam: What does my pin say?

Me: Bon appetit!

Adam: Bon appetite means 'EAT FASTER'!!!!!

Kissing

Libby: Max is my boyfriend but I haven't kissed him yet- we're getting married. After we kiss, we'll get married.

Max

Max: Do you know what my name is?

Me: Yes, your name is Max.

Max: Nope! It's Max-A-MILLION! Ha! I'm worth a million!

Costumes

Karden: What are the teachers being for Halloween?
Me: I'm not sure yet- some of the teachers suggested pajamas.
Karden: (giggling): It's a good thing my mom isn't a teacher!
Me: Why?
Karden: Because her pajamas are just her underwear!!!!!

Christmas Songs

For Paul McCartney’s song “Wonderful Christmas Time” (scroll to 0:30 if you don’t know what I’m talking about) when they say “simply having a wonderful Christmas time”… 

Laney was singing? Seafood Cabinnnn a wonderful Christmas time.

Milk

Alessandra: My grandma died a few days ago
Me: I'm so sorry, Alessandra.
Maile: I have TWO grandmas!
Alessandra: Can I please have some milk?

Drinking

During a hectic naptime, when NO ONE was napping, I was attempting to eat my lunch and was sipping a chai tea when Adam broke the stress with, "What's with all your drinking, anyway?" LOL!!!! ...and his parents wonder if he understands English!?!?

Bob Evans

Taylor: I feel sick!
Me: Oh no, that's not good! What's the matter?
Taylor: Well, I went to Bob Evans, and I ate too much, and got too drunk, and now I feel sick.

Haircuts

Me: Alessandra, don't pull up the grass, please
Alessandra: I'm just giving it a haircut!!

Middle Names

McKaila: Miss S*********, what is your middle name?
Me: Ann
McKaila: Aww, Miss S******** Ann...that's so pretty!!

Bibles

Sis:  Let's see, does this Bible have Ephesians? (flipping through the pages)... Galatians, Guinness...wait, Guinness isn't a book of the Bible!

Sharing Time

And then, we had a sweet little boy who brought in his dad's gallbladder stones to share during morning circle. My poor boss was subbing in our room that morning and I thought she was going to faint of surprise. After close to 20 years of running the school, she turned to me afterwards and just said, "Well, that is a first!!"