Earrings #2

Daley: Are those your ear decorations?

Earrings

Lou: What is that in your ear?

Me: An earring...

Lou: It looks like someone shot you

Toothless

Catie, during lunch: Miss M, could I please have some grapes for my lunch? All my mom packed for me is a whole apple and I have no teeth!!!

Scientist

Maxwell: I'm a scientist, you know.
Me: Oh, really?
Maxwell: Yes. I'm, well, 1/2 a scientist.
Me: What's the other 1/2?
Maxwell: I haven't quite figured that part out yet.

Hmm...

AJ: Where does your mom live?

Me: Three hours away

AJ: Where do you live?

Me: Ten minutes away

AJ: So you don't live with your mom?

Me: No

AJ: Or your dad?

Me: Nope

AJ: So you live alone?

Me: Yes

AJ: So, when are you going to get a baby?

Funny

Me: Adam, you are funny!

Adam: Why?

Me: I don't know, that's how you were made.

Adam: I am NOT made of funny!!!!

Bon Appetit!

Adam: What does my pin say?

Me: Bon appetit!

Adam: Bon appetite means 'EAT FASTER'!!!!!

Kissing

Libby: Max is my boyfriend but I haven't kissed him yet- we're getting married. After we kiss, we'll get married.

Max

Max: Do you know what my name is?

Me: Yes, your name is Max.

Max: Nope! It's Max-A-MILLION! Ha! I'm worth a million!

Costumes

Karden: What are the teachers being for Halloween?
Me: I'm not sure yet- some of the teachers suggested pajamas.
Karden: (giggling): It's a good thing my mom isn't a teacher!
Me: Why?
Karden: Because her pajamas are just her underwear!!!!!

Christmas Songs

For Paul McCartney’s song “Wonderful Christmas Time” (scroll to 0:30 if you don’t know what I’m talking about) when they say “simply having a wonderful Christmas time”… 

Laney was singing? Seafood Cabinnnn a wonderful Christmas time.

Milk

Alessandra: My grandma died a few days ago
Me: I'm so sorry, Alessandra.
Maile: I have TWO grandmas!
Alessandra: Can I please have some milk?

Drinking

During a hectic naptime, when NO ONE was napping, I was attempting to eat my lunch and was sipping a chai tea when Adam broke the stress with, "What's with all your drinking, anyway?" LOL!!!! ...and his parents wonder if he understands English!?!?

Bob Evans

Taylor: I feel sick!
Me: Oh no, that's not good! What's the matter?
Taylor: Well, I went to Bob Evans, and I ate too much, and got too drunk, and now I feel sick.

Haircuts

Me: Alessandra, don't pull up the grass, please
Alessandra: I'm just giving it a haircut!!

Middle Names

McKaila: Miss S*********, what is your middle name?
Me: Ann
McKaila: Aww, Miss S******** Ann...that's so pretty!!

Bibles

Sis:  Let's see, does this Bible have Ephesians? (flipping through the pages)... Galatians, Guinness...wait, Guinness isn't a book of the Bible!

Sharing Time

And then, we had a sweet little boy who brought in his dad's gallbladder stones to share during morning circle. My poor boss was subbing in our room that morning and I thought she was going to faint of surprise. After close to 20 years of running the school, she turned to me afterwards and just said, "Well, that is a first!!"

Babies

Explaining how babies are made to another student
Maxwell: Well, the mom has the baby in her belly. When she says it is time for the baby to come, the Daddy cuts the string and then they go to the hospital. That's how.

Being Bad

Luce:I haven't done anything bad in my entire life! (She is 5...)
Me: REALLY!?!?! (thinking back to allll the times she's been invited to sit in a chair because she's having trouble listening....)
Luce: Nope! I haven't stolen anything from a store, or been in jail, or stolen someone's car....

Spring Pants

Alexandra, running outside after having an accident and getting her pants changed: Miss S, LOOK!!!!! I have new spring pants!!!! (They were pink, orange, red, etc)

Diana, not to be outdone: And these are my spring summer water ocean pants!!!!

Football

Alex: I'm going to an Ohio Steak Game this weekend!!

Airplanes

After a discussion about airplanes:
Alexandra: you have to keep an airplane door closed, otherwise you'll just float away
Me: Where do you think you'll float to?
Alexandra: the balloon farm..??
Me: What is the balloon farm?!
Alexandra: Where all of the lost balloons go!

Socks

Me: Lily, how did your sock get under the table over there?
Lily (age 3): I don't know; it doesn't have legs!!

Geese

Kiddo: Those don't look like goose!
Sis and Me: Geese...
Kiddo: Goose!!!
Sis & Me: GEESE!!!
Kiddo: (after a pause, sounding defeated) Geese...

Target

Kiddo 1: We don't need boyfriends now, it's not worth it until we can get married.
Me: Where are you supposed to find a boyfriend?
Kiddo 1: (confidently) college

Me: okay well I went to college and didn't find a boyfriend...so where should I find one?
Kiddo 1: oh...um...
Kiddo 2: Target.