Saturday, December 20, 2014

Wednesday, December 17, 2014


Lou: What is that in your ear?
Me: An earring...
Lou: It looks like someone shot you

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Catie, during lunch: Miss M, could I please have some grapes for my lunch? All my mom packed for me is a whole apple and I have no teeth!!!

Monday, December 15, 2014


Maxwell: I'm a scientist, you know.
Me: Oh, really?
Maxwell: Yes. I'm, well, 1/2 a scientist.
Me: What's the other 1/2?
Maxwell: I haven't quite figured that part out yet.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


AJ: Where does your mom live?
Me: Three hours away
AJ: Where do you live?
Me: Ten minutes away
AJ: So you don't live with your mom?
Me: No
AJ: Or your dad?
Me: Nope
AJ: So you live alone?
Me: Yes
AJ: So, when are you going to get a baby?

Saturday, December 13, 2014


Me: Adam, you are funny!
Adam: Why?
Me: I don't know, that's how you were made.
Adam: I am NOT made of funny!!!!

Friday, December 12, 2014

Bon Appetit!

Adam: What does my pin say?
Me: Bon appetit!
Adam: Bon appetite means 'EAT FASTER'!!!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2014


Libby: Max is my boyfriend but I haven't kissed him yet- we're getting married. After we kiss, we'll get married.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014


Max: Do you know what my name is?
Me: Yes, your name is Max.
Max: Nope! It's Max-A-MILLION! Ha! I'm worth a million!

Tuesday, December 9, 2014


Karden: What are the teachers being for Halloween?
Me: I'm not sure yet- some of the teachers suggested pajamas.
Karden: (giggling): It's a good thing my mom isn't a teacher!
Me: Why?
Karden: Because her pajamas are just her underwear!!!!!

Monday, December 8, 2014

Christmas Songs

For Paul McCartney’s song “Wonderful Christmas Time” (scroll to 0:30 if you don’t know what I’m talking about) when they say “simply having a wonderful Christmas time”… 

Laney was singing? Seafood Cabinnnn a wonderful Christmas time.

Sunday, December 7, 2014


Alessandra: My grandma died a few days ago
Me: I'm so sorry, Alessandra.
Maile: I have TWO grandmas!
Alessandra: Can I please have some milk?

Saturday, December 6, 2014


During a hectic naptime, when NO ONE was napping, I was attempting to eat my lunch and was sipping a chai tea when Adam broke the stress with, "What's with all your drinking, anyway?" LOL!!!! ...and his parents wonder if he understands English!?!?

Friday, December 5, 2014

Bob Evans

Taylor: I feel sick!
Me: Oh no, that's not good! What's the matter?
Taylor: Well, I went to Bob Evans, and I ate too much, and got too drunk, and now I feel sick.

Thursday, December 4, 2014


Me: Alessandra, don't pull up the grass, please
Alessandra: I'm just giving it a haircut!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Middle Names

McKaila: Miss S*********, what is your middle name?
Me: Ann
McKaila: Aww, Miss S******** Ann...that's so pretty!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


Sis:  Let's see, does this Bible have Ephesians? (flipping through the pages)... Galatians, Guinness...wait, Guinness isn't a book of the Bible!

Monday, December 1, 2014

Sharing Time

And then, we had a sweet little boy who brought in his dad's gallbladder stones to share during morning circle. My poor boss was subbing in our room that morning and I thought she was going to faint of surprise. After close to 20 years of running the school, she turned to me afterwards and just said, "Well, that is a first!!"

Sunday, November 30, 2014


Explaining how babies are made to another student
Maxwell: Well, the mom has the baby in her belly. When she says it is time for the baby to come, the Daddy cuts the string and then they go to the hospital. That's how.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Being Bad

Luce:I haven't done anything bad in my entire life! (She is 5...)
Me: REALLY!?!?! (thinking back to allll the times she's been invited to sit in a chair because she's having trouble listening....)
Luce: Nope! I haven't stolen anything from a store, or been in jail, or stolen someone's car....

Friday, November 28, 2014

Spring Pants

Alexandra, running outside after having an accident and getting her pants changed: Miss S, LOOK!!!!! I have new spring pants!!!! (They were pink, orange, red, etc)

Diana, not to be outdone: And these are my spring summer water ocean pants!!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


After a discussion about airplanes:
Alexandra: you have to keep an airplane door closed, otherwise you'll just float away
Me: Where do you think you'll float to?
Alexandra: the balloon farm..??
Me: What is the balloon farm?!
Alexandra: Where all of the lost balloons go!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014


Me: Lily, how did your sock get under the table over there?
Lily (age 3): I don't know; it doesn't have legs!!

Monday, November 24, 2014


Kiddo: Those don't look like goose!
Sis and Me: Geese...
Kiddo: Goose!!!
Sis & Me: GEESE!!!
Kiddo: (after a pause, sounding defeated) Geese...

Sunday, November 23, 2014


Kiddo 1: We don't need boyfriends now, it's not worth it until we can get married.
Me: Where are you supposed to find a boyfriend?
Kiddo 1: (confidently) college
Me: okay well I went to college and didn't find a where should I find one?
Kiddo 1:
Kiddo 2: Target.